"Jennifer, you need your own column."

Last night a friend of mind told me that I needed a column because I always have so much knowledge to share. This wasn’t the first time she’s told me this. I’ve also heard similar suggestions from others. I’m flattered that my rants and “woman talks” have garnered the respect of those close to me, so much so that they’d suggest I share it with the masses. If you’ve read my other posts, you may have figured out that I’m not shy about exposing my innermost feelings, even those that would cause utter embarrassment to others. I’m able to write things about myself that I’m not as comfortable verbalizing, and under my real name too.

I’ve also noticed that I’m a far better fiction writer when said fiction has an extremely close connection to my own experiences, observations, and fantasies. In my writing classes I’ve been told that this is the way it should be. After my friend told me I should start a column, I asked myself what my area of expertise would be. The topics I usually talk about with friends, though they’d counter I actually “preach,” are my hopes and dreams for the future; the people I blame for society’s ills and how I’d change things if I ruled the world; my search for knowledge of self and spiritual enlightenment; the reality of my life in DC vs. my fantasy of life in NYC and beyond; my interesting volunteer work (hint: it involves hissing cockroaches from Madagascar); the finicky-ness of my coarse, nappy strands (and when would be a good time to show my coworkers what I really look like without this pound of human braiding hair resting on top of my head); the many jobs I’ve had; celebrity gossip; and how I’ve come to realize that I’m at the bottom of the dating totem pole…at least for now.

Of all these topics, existing on the outskirts of the dating/mating world and my observations of relationships and the people in them, would probably garner the most interest. There’s so many “relationship experts” on the market who claim to know everything, maybe people wouldn’t mind reading the wisdom of a relationship reject. Those other experts spout “this worked for me, listen closely, and it’ll work for you too” jargon. It seems designed to make people feel bad if they can’t Snag a Guy in 3 Days Using These Ancient Mayan Eye Twitches. People like me make others feel better about themselves and serve as a reminder that dating, much like life, is trial and error error error trial error success trial trial … I Haven’t Gotten To a Second Date in Four Years, It’s Either a Curse or Something I Said: How Not to Be Like Me.

Now that’s a must-read.

Well, I guess I’ll go and figure out where to pitch this column. If you want to pass some time, the column title I’m thinking of using can be found in at least two of my older posts. Next on my list…copyright that title (wouldn’t want to tempt anyone, people are so uninspired these days).


Until next time, folks,

Jennifer (the so-called Writer-Editor)

Ain't I A Writer?

Yes, I'm channeling Sojourner Truth with this one.

I awoke just a few minutes ago, and for some reason, the question of whether I was a "real" writer made its way to the front of the line of thoughts patiently waiting to be pondered. It must have been on my mind from last night when I was perusing several "pay per view" sites for writers. I was particularly interested in Associated Content. I did a little research and found that quite a few of the site's writers were pleased with it. I also checked out The Examiner and started to consider if I should sign-up.

I then thought about the lifestyle I lead and how closely it aligns with the "writer" stereotype:

1. I live a mostly isolated existence when not at work, spending a lot of time reading and in front of my computer. Check.
2. I am a virtual bottomless pit when it comes to my coffee intake. Check.
3. My brain is in overdrive and I'm continuously coming up with story ideas. Check.
4. I'm a little arrogant when it comes to the genius that my mind produces. Check.

So far so good. But wait a minute:

5. I'm always writing, in fact, a laptop is an extra appendage. Uh-oh.
6. I've sent out query letters and have received many rejection letters to show off. Uh-oh.
7. I have amassed quite an diverse online portfolio of articles. Uh-oh.


It's like the old question of does a falling tree make a sound if there's no one around to hear it. If I have a small number of published clips, about 12 or so, and virtually no online writing presence other than this blog, am I a "real writer"? If real writing is simply the act of using a writing utensil or a keyboard to record thoughts, then yes, I am a real writer. But if it means #5-#7 above, then perhaps I'm just a dreamer. I suppose "writer" is a personal definition that varies from supposed writer to supposed writer.

I'm a writer. I'm just one that hasn't done all I can to share myself with the world. This needs to change. I'm not all that concerned with how many pennies these sites pay me per visitor click, I want what I write to be read. On my website http://www.jennifersingleton.net/, I want to refer visitors and potential clients to my page with "so and so" where they can find more of my work. It's time to step up to the plate and join the millions of others who want a voice as well. Maybe my ramblings will make me rich, maybe they won't. But if they make one person, just one, want to hit 'print' or 'email to a friend,' then my mission will be accomplished.

That's what it's always been about for me. To one day say "mission accomplished."

I guess I can bring back the falling tree example. If someone hits 'print' and no one is around to see, has that person really printed my article. LOL. (okay, so I'm not a comedian)

Wish me luck,

Jennifer Singleton
Writer-Editor

Doing the “Double Talk” Dance

I was watching an episode of The Golden Girls the other night when Dorothy, my favorite character, said she had reached her limit at the automated teller machine. It occurred to me that I hadn’t heard this full pronunciation of "ATM" in a very long time. And that if I walked outside and asked someone where the closest automated teller machine was, it would probably take him or her a moment to process what I was asking. Someone younger than twenty would probably shrug their shoulders in total confusion.

However, if I were to ask anyone where the nearest "ATM machine" was located, we'd all be on the same page. But let's look at what I'd be asking: "Excuse me, where is the nearest automated teller machine machine?" This question is an example of a redundonym, and those who use them (pretty much all of us), are doing the "double talk" dance. A redundonym is an acronym ("ATM") that is followed by a word already included in the acronym ("machine").

When you go the ATM, would you say you enter your personal identification number (PIN), or your personal identification number number (PIN number)?

Would you go to your bank to inquire about an individual retirement account (IRA), or an individual retirement account account (IRA account)?

Would you search for a book using its International Standard Book Number (ISBN), or its International Standard Book Number Number (ISBN number)? [note: I only recently realized that I've never not used this redundonym.]

Much of this is colloquial, meaning we say it all the time in our informal communications, and unfortunately, in formal speech and writing where these casual “everybody does its” can make the writer look amateurish and sloppy. I’m trying to be more careful with my use of these, but it’s not easy. Want to know a secret? I prefer saying “PIN number” because to me, it’s a PIN number! I’ve never entered a PIN a day in my life. (Never said I was perfect…just telling you how to be).

Here are some other examples of redundonyms, courtesy of The Copyeditor’s Handbook by Amy Einsohn (great book by the way):

Incorrect= GRE exam (correct= GRE)
Incorrect= HIV virus (correct= HIV)
Incorrect= UPS service (correct= UPS)

The Programs of the Brain's Hard Drive

In the ten days since my last post I have been a diligent and productive writer and editor at my 9 to 5, read the Curious Case of Benjamin Button and thoroughly enjoyed every word, contemplated how much longer I should keep my aging but still-running vehicle, and spent some time exploring Chicago just for the heck of it (note: yes, I'm an editor who enjoys reading, so I should clarify that I explored the city of Chicago, not the style manual). I have done a lot of musing during this time, with thoughts ranging from the possible consequences of ignoring an obvious conflict of interest to calculating how much I should be saving to fulfill my goal of home ownership.
My brain is responsible for managing an exponential amount of data, mostly the products of my imagination, and I often wish I knew how to manually go into the "hard drive" and delete bothersome programs and add beneficial ones.

I'd add a program called Automatic Bridger that would bridge the gaps in the stories I'm having trouble completing. My inability to organize the middle (or meat of the story sandwich) has always plagued me. I know the beginning, the ending, and some of the conflicts that comprise the middle...but that's it...for just about all of them. Automatic Bridger could show me the links between my scenes, and sort through the piles of disconnected pieces to pull together a believable and engaging sequence of events. I wouldn't abuse this program, I'd only call on it during draining bouts of writer's block.

I'd also add a program called Eraser, similar to antivirus protection, that searches the hard drive for people and scenarios I've spent too much time imagining, and after quarantining them, asks these questions:
"Is it possible that this person or people are imagining you in a similar way?"
Me: No, I'm sure they are not. Positive in fact.
"Have these thoughts contributed to your well-being or helped you advance any of your goals?"
Me: My answer is a resounding no.
"Can this space be used for other, more productive purposes?"
Me: Why yes, I'm quite sure it could.
"Thank you. Erase of subjects completed. Space now free for something more important and reciprocal."

I'd delete the program that generates self-doubt of my abilities; the program that instructs the system to procrastinate; the program that supplies the excitement I need to sign-up for projects and activities, only to cut it off a short time later; and finally, I'd delete the program that craves Jelly Belly® jelly beans and other sweets.

But of all of these, I wish I had Automatic Bridger right now. I suppose I could call upon my brain, but it's so busy I hate to task it with more. Oh why not, that's what it's there for. Perhaps I should knock first to see if it has any time today to help me out. Wish me luck.

The Words of Dorian Corey

Who is she? A transgendered entertainer and designer who I first saw in the documentary Paris is Burning. I was twelve years old at the time and was more impressed with the film's extravagant costumes and dance competitions, and the fact that it was filmed in New York City, my fantasy residence even then. Though it still is, and I enjoy going up there, I, like many others who didn't grow up there (but really really wanted to), feel as though I came of age too late to experience the “old” New York. But I'm drawn to her still.

Anyway, tonight as I sat down to draft a new story idea, one of my favorite scenes from the documentary came to mind. A scene where a lovely woman named Brooke Xtravaganza expresses her exuberance at just having had her sex change operation to become a "real" woman. She giggles with glee as if she’s really been freed from confinement and she and a friend sing I am what I am...I am my own special creation. I needed to be touched by that. And then, Dorian Corey appeared in perhaps the most introspective moment of the film, only uttering a few poignant lines while applying makeup before a show.

As an adult, the words he shared when I was twelve finally have meaning. I finally understand.

I always had hopes of being a big star
Then as you get older you aim a little lower
Then you say, I still might make an impression on the world
Everybody wants to leave something behind them
Some impression, some mark on the world
Then you think that you left a mark on the world if you just get through it, and a few people remember your name
Then you left a mark
You don’t have to bend the whole world
I think it’s better to just enjoy it
Pay your dues, and enjoy it
[pause]
If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high
Hooray for you

RIP Dorian Corey

To "the" or not to "the": the curious case of the definite article

Do you know the difference between an initialism, and an acronym? If you do, then you might have no trouble deciding if you should place the word "the" before UK or KFC or NASDAQ. But if you're like me (and not saying this is right), your first instinct is to go with what sounds better. But it's important to understand the rules. I learned this the other day at work.

I wanted to send an email to a coworker to ask her opinion on whether we should place "the" in front of our unit's abbreviation, let's call it "OI." Having seen it with and without, I wanted to make a definitive choice. She's a senior member, so I figured she should weigh in. But as I began to draft the email, it occurred to me that I should first search around (Google) to see what other thoughts were out there. [Note: Even though I have access to style manuals galore, I enjoy online resources because they're quicker and oftentimes have an interface that allows visitors to leave "wow, thank yous" and "I beg to differs."] Five minutes later, I had my answer, and was reminded that the learning process never ends, especially if you call yourself an editor. And that my sounds better technique had been leading me astray.

Here's what I learned, and what I want to share with you:

1. Had I drafted the email to my coworker, I would have been correct to refer to "OI" as an initialism, because it cannot be pronounced as a word like "NAFTA," an acronym, can.

2. You should use "the" if the spelled-out name begins with "the" but is not used in the initialism. Example: the People's Republic of China (PRC). The PRC honored the visiting dignitaries.

3. When "the" is not a part of the spelled-out name, then you should not place it before the name's initialism.
Example: Chicago Public Schools. All CPS students are excused from classes this week.

4. Do not place "the" before an acronym. Remember, acryonyms are abbreviations that can be pronounced as words, like "NASCAR" and "NATO."
Example: My brother is a huge fan of NASCAR races.


So, in the end, I answered my own question. I work in the OI.

My latest writing credit: My legacy

Happy October 1st! I received some good news today. Three months ago I submitted an article on cyberbullying to my (now former) employer's magazine. And they liked it, they really liked it. It will definitely appear in the magazine's Dec/Jan online issue, but if there's room (I hope) it will also appear in the print version mailed to subscribers worldwide. Because this was my final contribution to the organization, I see this as my little legacy. I wrote it because I've grown quite saddened through the years at what young people are facing at the hands of their peers.

Not so long ago, I was a public school student. My hair and clothes were different so I dealt with my share of ostracism, but compared to others, I had an easy time. Back then, bullying had a face. Today it doesn't. And as I've tried to keep up with all of the technologies that allow us to exist as avators and usernames, I'm often dumbfounded at the cruelties that torture students during their classroom life, and too often, in their online life. So writing this review was very rewarding to me, and I hope that when its made available someone who was unaware of the depth of the problem will look for ways to pass along the awareness.

Receiving news of my article's acceptance was the B12 injection my fatigued writer's soul needed. I've been struggling to wrangle the right words from the tornado occurring in my mind. Alphabets are flying all over the place, grabbing them is the easy part...configuring them to form words is the problem. Metaphors aside, I'm suffering from writer's block. I'm a technical writer by day---creative writer too tired to dream by night.

My characters miss me, and I miss them too. Yesterday I purchased a collection of short stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I enjoy his writing style. I think a consultation with him will help quell the winds a little. It's so hard to court my creativity after shunning its advances for 8 hours, my priority given to the search and conquer of technical jargon.


Wish me luck,

Jennifer Singleton