Attention Class: Today's Lesson Deals With Grammar

I recently taught an hour-long grammar refresher course at my job.

I volunteered for this assignment and came up with the topic nearly two months prior, but didn't find out the exact training date until a week before. Yikes! I've never been one of those people with a fear of public speaking, but because I'd never stood before an audience as an "expert," I was extremely nervous at the thought.

The good thing was that I had complete creative control of the presentation format. What caused me some stress though was that I only had an hour and didn't want to go over or take just 25 minutes. I had to also be sure to cover the grammar subtopics I had proposed (punctuation and eliminating redundancy and wordiness)

I consulted my favorite style manuals; put myself in the position of student and forecast what attendees might want to know; threw in a bit of my own creativity; and even relied on my previous blog postings on the subject to create Grammar and Eliminating Redundancy, a presentation that was met with resounding approval and positive feedback. The attendees' only suggestions were to make the training longer and offer it again and soon. I was astonished at how well I did, and how confident I felt. I actually knew what I was talking about up there and was able to give insight and answer the grammar and writing questions of my peers. It was such a wonderful feeling, and so very rewarding.

Yay for Jennifer!

Would you like to see my slide presentation? You didn't think I'd do all that bragging and not share did you?

You can view it on my website under the "Technical/Nonfiction Writing Samples" header.

You mean, we aren't as smart as we think?

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid!

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we don't read every letter when we read, our brains are merely recognizing the first and last letter of the word. It doesn't help that brains know what words should be there, thus influencing their "reading" of the correct word whether its missing or not.

This is why editors are needed. As long as our brains take shortcuts, another pair of eyes will have to do a few tricks of their own.

(Though if you don't have a second pair of eyes to review your work, the next best thing is to take a break from your writing for a few minutes to allow your eyes to focus on other things. When you look at your words again, you may find it easier to spot misspellings and missing words. Also, another trick someone taught me is to read a sentence backwards. It forces your brain to actually read each letter.)

It's National Grammar Day!

March 4th is National Grammar Day. Who knew? Apparently real editors knew this. I'm such a fraud, I've never even heard of National Grammar Day. National Punctuation Day, yes. Grammar Day? No.
So, of course, I had to post some sort of homage to this day by sharing a few grammar tips with the world in the name of all the proper sentences all over the world.



Tip #1:

Pronouns must agree in number with their antecedents, or the words they refer to.

Original: Bathe each dog before they come inside the facility.

This sentence is incorrect because "each dog" is singular and "they come" is plural. For a proper agreement, this sentence should read one of two ways:

Bathe each dog (singular) before it comes (singular) inside the facility.
Bathe the dogs (plural) before they come (plural) inside the facility.


Tip #2:

When using apostrophes to show possession, be sure to correctly indicate whether you mean joint possession or singular possession, or both.

Original: Melissa and Mike's books were stolen last week.

There is nothing wrong with this sentence, if you're referring to the books that Melissa and Mike owned together. However, if Melissa's books were stolen and Mike's books were also stolen, you'd rewrite this sentence:

Melissa's (her books) and Mike's books (his books) were stolen last week.


Tip #3:

Avoid repetition. Don't use three or four words when you can use one or two. It's very common for people to unnecessarily use two or more words that mean the same thing. Sentences like to be simple, they really do.

Original: Each and every one of you will lose if you fail to plan ahead.
Rewrite: Each of you will lose if you fail to plan.

Original: The perpetrator vandalized 15 stores in the month of February.
Rewrite: The perpetrator vandalized 15 stores in February.

Original: After I mixed together several cleaning products, I began to feel nauseous.
Rewrite: After I mixed several cleaning products, I began to feel nauseous.


Tip #4:

In addition to subject-verb agreement, the subject and verb have to make sense together, meaning the subject has to be able to "do" the verb.

Original: The restaurant hopes its new low-calorie sandwich will attract more customers.

The restaurant can't hope, but its owner or manager can.

Rewrite: The owner hopes the restaurant's new low-calorie sandwich will attract more customers.

Bronze Thrills, Black Confessions, and a little Jive

This is a story of my first lesson in the importance of proper proofreading and editing, and how quickly a manuscript can lose credibility when a reader is confronted with easily avoidable errors.

“Moist Caverns” and “Man Tools”

When I was around 13 or 14, I discovered that nestled amongst the magazines on the stand at the Winn-Dixie grocery store, were four black romance/confession magazines—Jive, Black Confessions, Bronze Thrills, and Black Romance. (These publications were, in my words, an “urban imprint” for Sterling/Macfadden, publisher of the mainstream confession titles True Confessions, True Story, and True Romance.) An avid reader who was suffering from a severe case of puberty, I found my little discovery quite intriguing, to say the least. It didn’t take long for me to realize the salaciousness that lay before me.

He plunged his man tool into my moist cavern…

“Ma!!," hurrying excitedly, "can you buy this for me?”

My poor mother, I bugged her for at least several weeks to buy one of the magazines for me. It was the most important item in the world to me at the time. She was a tough nut to crack, as she wasn’t naïve, and knew all too well the type of stories they were. She shared her concerns that the material was inappropriate for me, and we'd go back and forth on how the stories weren't bad at all, and that I was indeed old enough to read them. I begged each Winn-Dixie visit. I still remember the night when she finally relented. I had been following her around the store holding one of the magazines, looking pitiful, of course. Knowing she’d say no, I wasted my breath again by asking if she’d buy it for me. She reviewed the cover for a moment, and then said yes! That, gentle readers, was one of the happiest moments of my teen years. Bronze Thrills was finally coming home with me (I still have this issue by the way, February 1993). Finally, I was going to read stories about girls just a few years older than me who had boyfriends and were having sex with them; girls disobeying their parents to sneak around with neighborhood bad boys; women catching their husbands having affairs; love triangles; domestic violence; workplace infatuation—Yessssss!

And so my journey began. Soon I started a summer job and was able to buy my own magazines, and I continued to do for a number of years afterward. While I always found the material interesting, and usually had a favorite story in each issue, reading these magazines was an exercise in patience. The grammatical and typographical errors were so blatant that, in my opinion, it offended the intelligence of the readers.

"Errors"

Jennifer, are you telling us that a magazine went to press without anyone bothering to make sure it looked okay?

Yes, I am. Where were the editors? I wondered. Did anyone on the payroll bother to even read one of the issues? Pure foolishness. In addition to suffering with misspelled words, missing words, and no spacing between words, imagine these other crimes against literature that faithful readers had to endure:

The "editors" in charge forced us to

· Attempt to understand text where there was either a misplacement or absence of quotation marks that rendered dialogue and the narrator’s inner thoughts indistinguishable.
· Re-read stories, as a story in one issue was sometimes a word-for-word reprint of one from a few issues back.
· Get to know a main character by one name, let's say “Nathan,” only to turn the page and find that his name had changed to “Mike.”
· Skim an issue's Table of Contents in the store, and become excited at a particular story's title and synopsis, only to get it home and discover that said story wasn’t even in the issue. I'm not kidding. Table of Contents should never lie! (This happened to me twice, and I’m still mad about it.)

"Prisoners"

Before the internet, lonely hearts commonly sought love through classified ads in newspapers and magazines. Black Romance and her sisters were no exception. When I would get a new issue, the first thing I would do is read the "Pen Pals" column in the back. Out of about 25 ads per issue, all but one would be from a prisoner seeking companionship.

"Ebony prince seeks princess for romance and marriage. I'm a writer, musician, and political activist. Will answer all. Roses for you, beautiful lady. Race and weight not important."

(Sidebar: Race and weight never seem to be a problem after all the options have been taken away. Come as you are, my queens. Funny, were they that accepting as free men?)

As an adult, I saw the ad of a guy I think I worked with at McDonalds years before when I was 16. This guy (when I knew him) had gold teeth, a jherri curl, and always wore a cow hide sun visor (of course, I had a crush on him). He had a very unique nickname, and this was the name I saw in the ad. When I saw that this individual was incarcerated in my home state, I was all but assured that he was indeed the same guy who shared fry duty with me and had gone on to make some bad choices. I used to wonder, and still do, how these men found out about these publications; was there some kind of network? I also felt some kind of way about these men possibly attempting to take advantage of lonely women. I'm sure my mother didn't know what to make of me. I was a weird one, I'm sure there were hardly any other teenage girls who found reading inmate personals ads entertaining.

"Conclusion"

Today, Sterling/Macfadden no longer publishes these black love-focused magazines. I think the True magazines are still around though. I wasn’t sad to see them go. Aside from being older and not that into them anymore, I had lost respect for the company for not caring about the quality of this particular brand. It had gotten to the point where I no longer bothered to flip through them anymore. I had spent too many nights becoming engrossed in a story, only to be snatched from the fantasy because of an error that, had anyone cared to proofread it, could have easily been corrected. It's hard to enjoy a story when the journey to get to the end is choppy and misguided. Before abandoning these magazines, I had managed to collect over 30 of them. I have them stashed away here and there. I hope to keep them for a long time because I’m sentimental, but also because I want to pass them on to someone. Most teens/young women today wouldn't find much interest in a nearly 20-year-old romance magazine, but, if one of them is like me, would greatly appreciate the piece of history. Perhaps I'll find someone someday who will treasure them as I have, offensive errors and all.

I've rambled on enough. Now I'm off to go and finish up an earlier post I started in July.

--A nostalgic reader

It's Been a While Since I Held an Editing Class

These are just a few little nuggets of advice to use when querying the writers who rely on your direction to lead them to a polished finished work.


1. Be tactful
Address the query to "Author" or "AU" (or you can use "QU" for query, like I do). Be courteous, use "please" to show that you’re asking them to perform extra work.

2. Avoid capital letters and exclamation points in your query; be professional no matter how stunned you are at what you’re seeing.

Ex: Ronald Reagan, a democrat, believed in the concept of ‘trickle down’ economics.

Query:
[AU: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? REAGAN WAS NOT A DEMOCRAT!]

Revised Query:
[AU: Did you mean ‘republican’? Please check party affiliation.]

3. Word your query so you get the answer you are looking for.

Ex: According to the finding, men want to marry women who remind them of their mothers; however, there is no conclusive research.

Query:
[AU: "Can you please clarify this statement?"]

NOTE: I’m guilty of this one. Wording a query this way can yield two possible answers: 1) "No I can’t; and 2) the actual rewrite you were expecting. Instead, try clarifying the statement yourself and asking the author if your interpretation is correct.

Revised Query:
[AU: This may confuse readers. You cite a study's finding, but write there in no conclusive research. It may be helpful to state why the finding is not considered conclusive.]

4. When dealing with arithmetic, if you see an error, do not make changes if unsure of the author’s intentions.

Ex: 12 of the 60 respondents (50%) could not identify the State of California on a map.
It is incorrect to change the math here without checking with the writer. Unless you know whether to change the 50% to 20%; the 12 to 30; the 60 to 24; or the 12 of the 60 to 45 of the 90, query the author.

Query:
[AU: The arithmetic does not seem correct. 50% of 60 does not equal to 12. Which number needs to be changed?]

5. Make queries concise; avoid wordiness and sarcasm.

Ex: Jamie enjoyed the way Mark touched her, it was as if he loved her. Though she knew he didn’t. Come to think of it, she wasn’t so sure he even liked her. But she’d deal with her guilt in the morning. She needed Marc's touch tonight.

[AU: Wow, you’d think Jamie would have more self esteem. Guess not! Please confirm spelling of "Mark" or "Marc."]

Revised query:
[AU: Please confirm spelling of "Mark" or "Marc."]


Source: Stet Again!: More Tricks of the Trade for Publications People provided the rules; I provided the examples.

ROFL: Redundancy and Other Fancy Language

You've heard the saying "what a difference a day makes" right? Well, how about what a difference a few less words make? Many of us believe that a wordy sentence or a sentence that uses academic language (big words) automatically makes said sentence read more eloquently. Not true. The trick to writing a good sentence is not in the number of words used, or the need for a dictionary to understand it. The goal is to communicate the message as simply as possible, while keeping in mind the intended audience's reading level and knowledge of the topic.

Read the before and after sentences below and see if you can come up with other ways to simplify them. Take it a little further and re-read an article in your favorite publication, a set of how-to instructions, a passage from the novel you're reading, or even the post you're reading right now to determine if the writer could have deleted five or six words, or replaced two words with one, and still retained the meaning.

Sample #1

Before
If the location of the land is in a state other than the state in which the tribe’s reservation is located, the tribe’s justification of anticipated benefits from the acquisition will be subject to greater scrutiny.

After
If the land is in a different state than the tribe's reservation, we will scrutinize the tribe's justification of anticipated benefits more thoroughly.

Sample #2

Before
When the process of freeing a vehicle that has been stuck results in ruts or holes, the operator will fill the rut or hole created by such activity before removing the vehicle from the immediate area.

After
If you make a hole while freeing a stuck vehicle, you must fill the hole before you drive away.

Sample #3

Before
Under 25 CFR §1.4(b), the Secretary of the Interior may in specific cases or in specific geographic areas, adopt or make applicable to off-reservation Indian lands all or any part of such laws, ordinances, codes, resolutions, rules or other regulations of the State and political subdivisions in which the land is located as the Secretary shall determine to be in the best interest of the Indian owner or owners in achieving the highest and best use of such property.

After
Section 1.4(b) of 25 CFR allows us to make State or local laws or regulations apply to your off-reservation lands. We will do this only if we find that it will help you to achieve the highest and best use of your lands.

Sample #4

Before
Sections 4.40 through 4.71 do not apply to Indian probate proceedings, heirship determinations under the White Earth Reservation Land Settlement Act of 1985, and other proceedings under subpart D of this part, except that §§ 4.40 through 4.71 do apply to cases referred to an administrative law judge pursuant to § 4.337(a).

After
Unless a case is referred to an administrative law judge under § 4.337(a), §§ 4.40 through 4.71 do not apply to:

1. Indian probate proceedings;
2. Heirship determinations under the White Earth Reservation Land Settlement Act of 1985; and
3. Other proceedings under subpart D of this part.

Sample #5

Before
If a deponent fails to answer a question propounded, or a party upon whom a request is made under § 4.70, or a party on whom interrogatories are served fails to adequately respond or objects to the request, or any part thereof, or fails to permit inspection as requested, the discovering party may move the administrative law judge for an order compelling a response or inspection in accordance with the request.

After
You may move the administrative law judge for an order compelling a response or inspection if:

1. A deponent fails to answer a question;
2. A party upon whom you made a request under § 4.70, or a party on whom you served interrogatories either does not adequately respond or objects to the request; or
3. A party on whom you made a request under § 4.70, or a party on whom interrogatories are served does not permit inspection as requested.
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Jennifer's Note:
I can't take credit for these great examples. I present them courtesy of PlainLanguage.gov - Improving Communication from the Federal Government to the Public. This site offers great resources for writers and editors tasked with communicating and translating "government talk."

The Disagreement: A Story in the Town of Grammarville

Once upon a time in the town of Grammarville, in the tight-knit neigborhood of Sentence, there lived a subject and a verb who never agreed on anything. When the subject was singular, the verb was plural; when the verb was singular, the subject thought it best to be plural. As you can imagine, this caused a great deal of confusion with the other residents of Sentence. The prepositional phrases, adverbs, and dangling participles protested whenever the pair were seen together. For they were breaking a town ordinance.
"Stop this madness! Because of you two, the rest of us do not make sense!" they'd shout.

Feed up, a gang of prepositional phrases gathered other Sentence residents for an impromptu street hall meeting. A brave participle was sent to advise the subject and verb of their required presence. Even though these two had been villainized, they too wanted a resolution to the problem, and eagerly accompanied the participle back to the meeting place. For two days and two nights the attendees debated, and shouted, and cried, and pleaded. But then, at an hour before the beginning of the third day, laughter and singing were the dominating sounds.

To everyone's delight, the residents emerged from the street hall meeting having reached an agreement. They announced that the subject and verb had agreed to agree in what would come to be known as the "Great Subject-Verb Agreement." The town ordinance was amended and changed to a law; the punishment for not adhering to it was the label of being "grammatically incorrect."

Here are nine highlights from the subject-verb tenets comprising the Agreement (color coordinated for your reading pleasure):

1.Singular indefinite pronoun subjects take singular verbs.
Ex: No one wants to eat the last piece of cake.

2. Inverted subjects (when the verb comes before the subject) must agree with the verb.
Ex: There are three cars to tow.

3. A phrase or clause between a subject and verb does not change the number of the subject.
Ex: A box of stale cereal sits on the counter.

4. For compound subjects joined by or/nor, the verb agrees with the subject closer to it.
Ex: Neither the buyer nor the sellers are interested in paying the closing cost.

5. Collective nouns may be singular or plural depending on how they behave in the sentence.
Ex: The Senate has decided not to convene today. (as a collective unit)
Ex: The Senate members have decided not to meet. (as individuals)

6. Compound subjects joined by and are always require a plural verb.
Ex: A writer and his pen make an attractive couple.

7. Plural form subjects with a plural meaning require a plural verb.
Ex: The scissors are a dangerous toy.

8. Titles of single entities require a singular verb.
Ex: The Bridges of Madison County is an interesting read.

9. With a subject and subject complement of a different number, the verb must agree with the subject.
Ex: The topic for today is relationships.


(The nine rules aren't mine, of course, but my little Grammarville story is a Jennifer Singleton special creation.)

Doing the “Double Talk” Dance

I was watching an episode of The Golden Girls the other night when Dorothy, my favorite character, said she had reached her limit at the automated teller machine. It occurred to me that I hadn’t heard this full pronunciation of "ATM" in a very long time. And that if I walked outside and asked someone where the closest automated teller machine was, it would probably take him or her a moment to process what I was asking. Someone younger than twenty would probably shrug their shoulders in total confusion.

However, if I were to ask anyone where the nearest "ATM machine" was located, we'd all be on the same page. But let's look at what I'd be asking: "Excuse me, where is the nearest automated teller machine machine?" This question is an example of a redundonym, and those who use them (pretty much all of us), are doing the "double talk" dance. A redundonym is an acronym ("ATM") that is followed by a word already included in the acronym ("machine").

When you go the ATM, would you say you enter your personal identification number (PIN), or your personal identification number number (PIN number)?

Would you go to your bank to inquire about an individual retirement account (IRA), or an individual retirement account account (IRA account)?

Would you search for a book using its International Standard Book Number (ISBN), or its International Standard Book Number Number (ISBN number)? [note: I only recently realized that I've never not used this redundonym.]

Much of this is colloquial, meaning we say it all the time in our informal communications, and unfortunately, in formal speech and writing where these casual “everybody does its” can make the writer look amateurish and sloppy. I’m trying to be more careful with my use of these, but it’s not easy. Want to know a secret? I prefer saying “PIN number” because to me, it’s a PIN number! I’ve never entered a PIN a day in my life. (Never said I was perfect…just telling you how to be).

Here are some other examples of redundonyms, courtesy of The Copyeditor’s Handbook by Amy Einsohn (great book by the way):

Incorrect= GRE exam (correct= GRE)
Incorrect= HIV virus (correct= HIV)
Incorrect= UPS service (correct= UPS)