Attention Class: Today's Lesson Deals With Grammar

I recently taught an hour-long grammar refresher course at my job.

I volunteered for this assignment and came up with the topic nearly two months prior, but didn't find out the exact training date until a week before. Yikes! I've never been one of those people with a fear of public speaking, but because I'd never stood before an audience as an "expert," I was extremely nervous at the thought.

The good thing was that I had complete creative control of the presentation format. What caused me some stress though was that I only had an hour and didn't want to go over or take just 25 minutes. I had to also be sure to cover the grammar subtopics I had proposed (punctuation and eliminating redundancy and wordiness)

I consulted my favorite style manuals; put myself in the position of student and forecast what attendees might want to know; threw in a bit of my own creativity; and even relied on my previous blog postings on the subject to create Grammar and Eliminating Redundancy, a presentation that was met with resounding approval and positive feedback. The attendees' only suggestions were to make the training longer and offer it again and soon. I was astonished at how well I did, and how confident I felt. I actually knew what I was talking about up there and was able to give insight and answer the grammar and writing questions of my peers. It was such a wonderful feeling, and so very rewarding.

Yay for Jennifer!

Would you like to see my slide presentation? You didn't think I'd do all that bragging and not share did you?

You can view it on my website under the "Technical/Nonfiction Writing Samples" header.

You mean, we aren't as smart as we think?

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid!

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we don't read every letter when we read, our brains are merely recognizing the first and last letter of the word. It doesn't help that brains know what words should be there, thus influencing their "reading" of the correct word whether its missing or not.

This is why editors are needed. As long as our brains take shortcuts, another pair of eyes will have to do a few tricks of their own.

(Though if you don't have a second pair of eyes to review your work, the next best thing is to take a break from your writing for a few minutes to allow your eyes to focus on other things. When you look at your words again, you may find it easier to spot misspellings and missing words. Also, another trick someone taught me is to read a sentence backwards. It forces your brain to actually read each letter.)

It's National Grammar Day!

March 4th is National Grammar Day. Who knew? Apparently real editors knew this. I'm such a fraud, I've never even heard of National Grammar Day. National Punctuation Day, yes. Grammar Day? No.
So, of course, I had to post some sort of homage to this day by sharing a few grammar tips with the world in the name of all the proper sentences all over the world.



Tip #1:

Pronouns must agree in number with their antecedents, or the words they refer to.

Original: Bathe each dog before they come inside the facility.

This sentence is incorrect because "each dog" is singular and "they come" is plural. For a proper agreement, this sentence should read one of two ways:

Bathe each dog (singular) before it comes (singular) inside the facility.
Bathe the dogs (plural) before they come (plural) inside the facility.


Tip #2:

When using apostrophes to show possession, be sure to correctly indicate whether you mean joint possession or singular possession, or both.

Original: Melissa and Mike's books were stolen last week.

There is nothing wrong with this sentence, if you're referring to the books that Melissa and Mike owned together. However, if Melissa's books were stolen and Mike's books were also stolen, you'd rewrite this sentence:

Melissa's (her books) and Mike's books (his books) were stolen last week.


Tip #3:

Avoid repetition. Don't use three or four words when you can use one or two. It's very common for people to unnecessarily use two or more words that mean the same thing. Sentences like to be simple, they really do.

Original: Each and every one of you will lose if you fail to plan ahead.
Rewrite: Each of you will lose if you fail to plan.

Original: The perpetrator vandalized 15 stores in the month of February.
Rewrite: The perpetrator vandalized 15 stores in February.

Original: After I mixed together several cleaning products, I began to feel nauseous.
Rewrite: After I mixed several cleaning products, I began to feel nauseous.


Tip #4:

In addition to subject-verb agreement, the subject and verb have to make sense together, meaning the subject has to be able to "do" the verb.

Original: The restaurant hopes its new low-calorie sandwich will attract more customers.

The restaurant can't hope, but its owner or manager can.

Rewrite: The owner hopes the restaurant's new low-calorie sandwich will attract more customers.

It's Been a While Since I Held an Editing Class

These are just a few little nuggets of advice to use when querying the writers who rely on your direction to lead them to a polished finished work.


1. Be tactful
Address the query to "Author" or "AU" (or you can use "QU" for query, like I do). Be courteous, use "please" to show that you’re asking them to perform extra work.

2. Avoid capital letters and exclamation points in your query; be professional no matter how stunned you are at what you’re seeing.

Ex: Ronald Reagan, a democrat, believed in the concept of ‘trickle down’ economics.

Query:
[AU: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? REAGAN WAS NOT A DEMOCRAT!]

Revised Query:
[AU: Did you mean ‘republican’? Please check party affiliation.]

3. Word your query so you get the answer you are looking for.

Ex: According to the finding, men want to marry women who remind them of their mothers; however, there is no conclusive research.

Query:
[AU: "Can you please clarify this statement?"]

NOTE: I’m guilty of this one. Wording a query this way can yield two possible answers: 1) "No I can’t; and 2) the actual rewrite you were expecting. Instead, try clarifying the statement yourself and asking the author if your interpretation is correct.

Revised Query:
[AU: This may confuse readers. You cite a study's finding, but write there in no conclusive research. It may be helpful to state why the finding is not considered conclusive.]

4. When dealing with arithmetic, if you see an error, do not make changes if unsure of the author’s intentions.

Ex: 12 of the 60 respondents (50%) could not identify the State of California on a map.
It is incorrect to change the math here without checking with the writer. Unless you know whether to change the 50% to 20%; the 12 to 30; the 60 to 24; or the 12 of the 60 to 45 of the 90, query the author.

Query:
[AU: The arithmetic does not seem correct. 50% of 60 does not equal to 12. Which number needs to be changed?]

5. Make queries concise; avoid wordiness and sarcasm.

Ex: Jamie enjoyed the way Mark touched her, it was as if he loved her. Though she knew he didn’t. Come to think of it, she wasn’t so sure he even liked her. But she’d deal with her guilt in the morning. She needed Marc's touch tonight.

[AU: Wow, you’d think Jamie would have more self esteem. Guess not! Please confirm spelling of "Mark" or "Marc."]

Revised query:
[AU: Please confirm spelling of "Mark" or "Marc."]


Source: Stet Again!: More Tricks of the Trade for Publications People provided the rules; I provided the examples.

ROFL: Redundancy and Other Fancy Language

You've heard the saying "what a difference a day makes" right? Well, how about what a difference a few less words make? Many of us believe that a wordy sentence or a sentence that uses academic language (big words) automatically makes said sentence read more eloquently. Not true. The trick to writing a good sentence is not in the number of words used, or the need for a dictionary to understand it. The goal is to communicate the message as simply as possible, while keeping in mind the intended audience's reading level and knowledge of the topic.

Read the before and after sentences below and see if you can come up with other ways to simplify them. Take it a little further and re-read an article in your favorite publication, a set of how-to instructions, a passage from the novel you're reading, or even the post you're reading right now to determine if the writer could have deleted five or six words, or replaced two words with one, and still retained the meaning.

Sample #1

Before
If the location of the land is in a state other than the state in which the tribe’s reservation is located, the tribe’s justification of anticipated benefits from the acquisition will be subject to greater scrutiny.

After
If the land is in a different state than the tribe's reservation, we will scrutinize the tribe's justification of anticipated benefits more thoroughly.

Sample #2

Before
When the process of freeing a vehicle that has been stuck results in ruts or holes, the operator will fill the rut or hole created by such activity before removing the vehicle from the immediate area.

After
If you make a hole while freeing a stuck vehicle, you must fill the hole before you drive away.

Sample #3

Before
Under 25 CFR §1.4(b), the Secretary of the Interior may in specific cases or in specific geographic areas, adopt or make applicable to off-reservation Indian lands all or any part of such laws, ordinances, codes, resolutions, rules or other regulations of the State and political subdivisions in which the land is located as the Secretary shall determine to be in the best interest of the Indian owner or owners in achieving the highest and best use of such property.

After
Section 1.4(b) of 25 CFR allows us to make State or local laws or regulations apply to your off-reservation lands. We will do this only if we find that it will help you to achieve the highest and best use of your lands.

Sample #4

Before
Sections 4.40 through 4.71 do not apply to Indian probate proceedings, heirship determinations under the White Earth Reservation Land Settlement Act of 1985, and other proceedings under subpart D of this part, except that §§ 4.40 through 4.71 do apply to cases referred to an administrative law judge pursuant to § 4.337(a).

After
Unless a case is referred to an administrative law judge under § 4.337(a), §§ 4.40 through 4.71 do not apply to:

1. Indian probate proceedings;
2. Heirship determinations under the White Earth Reservation Land Settlement Act of 1985; and
3. Other proceedings under subpart D of this part.

Sample #5

Before
If a deponent fails to answer a question propounded, or a party upon whom a request is made under § 4.70, or a party on whom interrogatories are served fails to adequately respond or objects to the request, or any part thereof, or fails to permit inspection as requested, the discovering party may move the administrative law judge for an order compelling a response or inspection in accordance with the request.

After
You may move the administrative law judge for an order compelling a response or inspection if:

1. A deponent fails to answer a question;
2. A party upon whom you made a request under § 4.70, or a party on whom you served interrogatories either does not adequately respond or objects to the request; or
3. A party on whom you made a request under § 4.70, or a party on whom interrogatories are served does not permit inspection as requested.
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Jennifer's Note:
I can't take credit for these great examples. I present them courtesy of PlainLanguage.gov - Improving Communication from the Federal Government to the Public. This site offers great resources for writers and editors tasked with communicating and translating "government talk."

Sunday's Writing Tip: Less Can Be Best

We all do it, though few people can say for sure where they learned it. I'm talking about using three, four, and even five words to say something that can be said with only one or two. This way of speaking and writing sounds more "proper" and correct to a lot of us; so ingrained that simplifying feels like "dumbing down" or not showing how smart and literate we are. However, in writing (especially technical), you should always consider your audience's needs and the importance of providing content that is clear, concise, and to the point.

To illustrate, I've gathered some examples of wordiness ("circumlocutions") and redundancies, and provided suggested alternatives. I still have to catch myself sometimes. I bet I even did it in this post. Let me know what you spot, this could be fun.

Too wordy (alternative)

At this particular point in time (now)
Made mention of the fact (mentioned)
In spite of the fact that (although)
Call your attention to (remind you)
In this day and age (today)
With regards to (regarding)
In order to (to)
For the simple fact (because)
Take into consideration (consider)


Redundant (alternative)

Eliminate altogether (eliminate)
Past history (past)
Plan in advance (plan)
Warn in advance (warn)
Important essentials (important or essential)
Follow after (follow)

In my last post I asked readers to find the definition of this word and come up with one good reason why it should be used in a sentence when other choices were available.

I'm not saying "behest" is wrong (if Merriam's likes it, so should I), it's just that I think it looks better in a more academic context, or better yet, used sparingly with other words of the same class: It is at the behest of His Majesty that today's assemblage not meander through the forbidden forest.

But not here: At the behest of the mayor, all residents wore white to the "Jubilee All" festival.

I would probably edit this to read: The residents complied with the mayor's order to wear white to the "Jubilee All" festival.

Ms. Melissa, a commenter, responded "I behest you to continue writing fun and creative stories that you will post on your blog."
My answer: Yes ma'am. I'm in meetings with my imagination now to see what we can do about that.