Here is a short article I wrote on maintaining relationships during economic hardship. A much shorter version will appear in an upcoming newsletter issue with a health and quality of living theme.
__________________________________________
Maintaining Healthy Relationships During Economic Hardships
The economic headlines are ominous: “More Layoffs Predicted”; “Unemployment Claims Climbing”; “Millions Without Healthcare.” If you or someone you care about is included in these statistics, you may already be aware of the strain financial hardships can have on relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners, and even coworkers. Below are some common issues that many are facing and ways to cope.
Your Family
The saying “blood is thicker than water” is often used to stress the importance of always having your family’s back, no matter what. But trying to “do right” by your family can pose a strain if you are the only member of a close-knit family who still has a job, or the one who everyone knows has it to spare. This gets even more complicated if multiples hands are extended.
What You Can Do: There is no one right way to go about dealing with a family member in this situation, but what you should remember is the importance of setting realistic limits and not overextending yourself. Trying to do too much is stressful and can interfere in your ability to handle things in your own life. Conversely, if you are the one who is experiencing a financial hardship, you should never try to make a relative feel guilty for faring better in this economy than you, nor should you embarrass him or her by boasting the specifics of their financial situation.
Your Significant Other
Seeing the man or woman you love face job loss or other financial hardship can be the ultimate test of a relationship’s strength survival and ultimate survival. One or both may feel the need to give the other space out of feelings of guilt, embarrassment, or helplessness. “If couples are honest and compassionate with one another, if they learn to work as a team, they could emerge with a better relationship,” says Pepper Schwartz, author of the New York Times article “Difficult But Valuable Conversations.” (April 2009)
What You Can Do: Communicate. Creating an open atmosphere where open and honest discussion can take place without fear of backlash is a vital part of maintaining a romantic relationship during a hardship; particularly one where traditional gender roles may have shifted. If your partner usually foot the bill and can longer do so comfortably, you have to ask yourself if you are comfortable stepping up, and if you are, for how long. If you are the one suffering the hardship, you have to determine how much of an effect you foresee it having on the relationship and communicating with your partner what he or she should expect. During this time, you can mix things up by introducing your spouse or significant other to new and creative activities that are both entertaining and free or low cost. But most importantly know that it is a frustrating time for you both. Your understanding and compassion for each other is needed now more than ever.
Your Friends
When your friends are experiencing financial hardships, you may feel awkward inviting them out to socialize. Or you may feel like you’re bragging by telling them about that kudos you got from your supervisor. Though their finances may be different, they are still your friends and may still want to spend time with you, and most importantly, they still want to root for you as you would for them. Maintaining a sense of normalcy is important for anyone experiencing this type hardship.
What You Can Do: Try to see each other as often as you did before. Simply meeting up for coffee to remind them that you are there can do wonders in maintaining a friendship through a rough patch. And if you can make the time, offer your assistance to help brainstorm new career moves, or keep an eye and ear out for job prospects in their field.
Your Coworkers
When layoffs or department restructuring hits the workplace it can be a very stressful time where anger consumes the laid off. Guilt can overwhelm the layoff survivors as they adjust to the loss of coworkers, a possible increase in workload, and heightened anxiety about how to behave around those who make hiring and firing decisions. The genuineness of workplace relationships is tested during this time, particularly if a workplace buddy gets to stay while you get the boot, or vice versa. Do you stay in touch or what?
What You Can Do: While it is easy to cut your losses when you or a coworker leaves the workplace, it is important to stay in touch with those whose work ethic or accomplishments you admire. Create or maintain existing connections with them on networking sites like Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter. And do not neglect the power of a personal phone call. You cannot afford to lose touch. Depending on your industry and the power of your network, you may miss out on an opportunity by allowing too much time to pass.
(Copyright 2010. Jennifer Singleton)
March 20, 2010
March 14, 2010
Old Major's Dream
I was introduced to the residents in George Orwell's Animal Farm many years ago, and have never forgotten how moved I was by the suffering they endured. As the story begins, all the animals of Manor Farm are suffering at the hands of man, cruel oppressors indeed. As the story unfolds, however, we are saddened to learn that a revolution that was supposed to result in the animals' independence, results only in them receiving a new oppressor, a new ruling class...their own brethren, the Pig. How does this happen? How could members of an oppressed 'people' become oppressors themselves? You'll have to read to find out. You won't regret it.
The story opens with Old Major, the most respected animal on the farm, gathering all the animals together to tell them of the strange dream he'd had the night before. What results is a collective call to free themselves from the regime of Mr. Jones, Manor Farm's owner. Here is an excerpt of the moving speech:
"Now, comrades, what is the nature of this life of ours? Let us face it:
our lives are miserable, laborious, and short. We are born, we are given
just so much food as will keep the breath in our bodies, and those of us
who are capable of it are forced to work to the last atom of our strength;
and the very instant that our usefulness has come to an end we are
slaughtered with hideous cruelty. No animal in England knows the meaning
of happiness or leisure after he is a year old. No animal in England is
free. The life of an animal is misery and slavery: that is the plain truth.
"But is this simply part of the order of nature? Is it because this land
of ours is so poor that it cannot afford a decent life to those who dwell
upon it? No, comrades, a thousand times no! The soil of England is
fertile, its climate is good, it is capable of affording food in abundance
to an enormously greater number of animals than now inhabit it. This
single farm of ours would support a dozen horses, twenty cows, hundreds of
sheep--and all of them living in a comfort and a dignity that are now
almost beyond our imagining. Why then do we continue in this miserable
condition? Because nearly the whole of the produce of our labour is stolen
from us by human beings. There, comrades, is the answer to all our
problems. It is summed up in a single word--Man. Man is the only real
enemy we have. Remove Man from the scene, and the root cause of hunger and
overwork is abolished for ever.
"Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not
give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he
cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the
animals. He sets them to work, he gives back to them the bare minimum that
will prevent them from starving, and the rest he keeps for himself. Our
labour tills the soil, our dung fertilises it, and yet there is not one of
us that owns more than his bare skin. You cows that I see before me, how
many thousands of gallons of milk have you given during this last year?
And what has happened to that milk which should have been breeding up
sturdy calves? Every drop of it has gone down the throats of our enemies.
And you hens, how many eggs have you laid in this last year, and how many
of those eggs ever hatched into chickens? The rest have all gone to market
to bring in money for Jones and his men. And you, Clover, where are those
four foals you bore, who should have been the support and pleasure of your
old age? Each was sold at a year old--you will never see one of them
again. In return for your four confinements and all your labour in the
fields, what have you ever had except your bare rations and a stall?
"And even the miserable lives we lead are not allowed to reach their
natural span. For myself I do not grumble, for I am one of the lucky ones.
I am twelve years old and have had over four hundred children. Such is the
natural life of a pig. But no animal escapes the cruel knife in the end.
You young porkers who are sitting in front of me, every one of you will
scream your lives out at the block within a year. To that horror we all
must come--cows, pigs, hens, sheep, everyone. Even the horses and the dogs
have no better fate. You, Boxer, the very day that those great muscles of
yours lose their power, Jones will sell you to the knacker, who will cut
your throat and boil you down for the foxhounds. As for the dogs, when
they grow old and toothless, Jones ties a brick round their necks and
drowns them in the nearest pond..."
Note: I think we are truly blessed to have access to art, from literature to paintings to sheet music, that can educate, entertain, and inspire us long after the creator has left us. Anyone with a nagging thought or idea, please record it at once. These characters, Old Major, Mollie, Boxer, and others, haunted Mr. Orwell's thoughts for who knows how long. Thank goodness he wrote down what they had to say before it was too late. As a result, millions around the world have analyzed, discussed, and taught the meaning behind those words. I'm certainly inspired.
The story opens with Old Major, the most respected animal on the farm, gathering all the animals together to tell them of the strange dream he'd had the night before. What results is a collective call to free themselves from the regime of Mr. Jones, Manor Farm's owner. Here is an excerpt of the moving speech:
"Now, comrades, what is the nature of this life of ours? Let us face it:
our lives are miserable, laborious, and short. We are born, we are given
just so much food as will keep the breath in our bodies, and those of us
who are capable of it are forced to work to the last atom of our strength;
and the very instant that our usefulness has come to an end we are
slaughtered with hideous cruelty. No animal in England knows the meaning
of happiness or leisure after he is a year old. No animal in England is
free. The life of an animal is misery and slavery: that is the plain truth.
"But is this simply part of the order of nature? Is it because this land
of ours is so poor that it cannot afford a decent life to those who dwell
upon it? No, comrades, a thousand times no! The soil of England is
fertile, its climate is good, it is capable of affording food in abundance
to an enormously greater number of animals than now inhabit it. This
single farm of ours would support a dozen horses, twenty cows, hundreds of
sheep--and all of them living in a comfort and a dignity that are now
almost beyond our imagining. Why then do we continue in this miserable
condition? Because nearly the whole of the produce of our labour is stolen
from us by human beings. There, comrades, is the answer to all our
problems. It is summed up in a single word--Man. Man is the only real
enemy we have. Remove Man from the scene, and the root cause of hunger and
overwork is abolished for ever.
"Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not
give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he
cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the
animals. He sets them to work, he gives back to them the bare minimum that
will prevent them from starving, and the rest he keeps for himself. Our
labour tills the soil, our dung fertilises it, and yet there is not one of
us that owns more than his bare skin. You cows that I see before me, how
many thousands of gallons of milk have you given during this last year?
And what has happened to that milk which should have been breeding up
sturdy calves? Every drop of it has gone down the throats of our enemies.
And you hens, how many eggs have you laid in this last year, and how many
of those eggs ever hatched into chickens? The rest have all gone to market
to bring in money for Jones and his men. And you, Clover, where are those
four foals you bore, who should have been the support and pleasure of your
old age? Each was sold at a year old--you will never see one of them
again. In return for your four confinements and all your labour in the
fields, what have you ever had except your bare rations and a stall?
"And even the miserable lives we lead are not allowed to reach their
natural span. For myself I do not grumble, for I am one of the lucky ones.
I am twelve years old and have had over four hundred children. Such is the
natural life of a pig. But no animal escapes the cruel knife in the end.
You young porkers who are sitting in front of me, every one of you will
scream your lives out at the block within a year. To that horror we all
must come--cows, pigs, hens, sheep, everyone. Even the horses and the dogs
have no better fate. You, Boxer, the very day that those great muscles of
yours lose their power, Jones will sell you to the knacker, who will cut
your throat and boil you down for the foxhounds. As for the dogs, when
they grow old and toothless, Jones ties a brick round their necks and
drowns them in the nearest pond..."
Note: I think we are truly blessed to have access to art, from literature to paintings to sheet music, that can educate, entertain, and inspire us long after the creator has left us. Anyone with a nagging thought or idea, please record it at once. These characters, Old Major, Mollie, Boxer, and others, haunted Mr. Orwell's thoughts for who knows how long. Thank goodness he wrote down what they had to say before it was too late. As a result, millions around the world have analyzed, discussed, and taught the meaning behind those words. I'm certainly inspired.
March 1, 2010
And I Love Her
Dear Inspiration,
It's me again. I miss you terribly, I mean it. Please come back to me. I feel so good when I'm with you, it's been so long since you've blessed me with your presence. I'm sorry that I've allowed you to slip away again, will you please forgive me and return to my soul?
Dear Jennifer,
I'm tired of going through this with you. You summons me; I appear; then you allow everything else in your life to take precedence over what I provide. How many times have I given you the perfect ending? Delivered the right arrangement of words? Yet what have you done with it? Nothing. I'm not sure if you deserve another chance. Do you know how many writers anticipate my arrival and reward me by expeditiously jotting down what I conjure in their minds? You ma'am have a lot to learn. But that's why I'm here. I see that you struggle and I don't want to give up on you (you're my favorite of them all). I return time and time again, each time hoping that you finally use me to make your literary dreams come true. But remember, though you're my favorite, I'm still not monogamous. I spread my ideas around (yes, even that particular one you hold so dear), and if you don't use it, someone else will.
Moving on, I know how much you enjoy listening to Ahmad Jamal. I found this little gem to help you travel to that special place that seduces your creativity. Now get to work, don't make me regret this.
Dear Inspiration,
Thank you for not giving up on me. I'll see to it that your efforts are not in vain. Thanks for the musical elixir, "Swahililand" is the truth. Off to create magic.
It's me again. I miss you terribly, I mean it. Please come back to me. I feel so good when I'm with you, it's been so long since you've blessed me with your presence. I'm sorry that I've allowed you to slip away again, will you please forgive me and return to my soul?
Dear Jennifer,
I'm tired of going through this with you. You summons me; I appear; then you allow everything else in your life to take precedence over what I provide. How many times have I given you the perfect ending? Delivered the right arrangement of words? Yet what have you done with it? Nothing. I'm not sure if you deserve another chance. Do you know how many writers anticipate my arrival and reward me by expeditiously jotting down what I conjure in their minds? You ma'am have a lot to learn. But that's why I'm here. I see that you struggle and I don't want to give up on you (you're my favorite of them all). I return time and time again, each time hoping that you finally use me to make your literary dreams come true. But remember, though you're my favorite, I'm still not monogamous. I spread my ideas around (yes, even that particular one you hold so dear), and if you don't use it, someone else will.
Moving on, I know how much you enjoy listening to Ahmad Jamal. I found this little gem to help you travel to that special place that seduces your creativity. Now get to work, don't make me regret this.
Dear Inspiration,
Thank you for not giving up on me. I'll see to it that your efforts are not in vain. Thanks for the musical elixir, "Swahililand" is the truth. Off to create magic.
February 28, 2010
ROFL: Redundancy and Other Fancy Language
You've heard the saying "what a difference a day makes" right? Well, how about what a difference a few less words make? Many of us believe that a wordy sentence or a sentence that uses academic language (big words) automatically makes said sentence read more eloquently. Not true. The trick to writing a good sentence is not in the number of words used, or the need for a dictionary to understand it. The goal is to communicate the message as simply as possible, while keeping in mind the intended audience's reading level and knowledge of the topic.
Read the before and after sentences below and see if you can come up with other ways to simplify them. Take it a little further and re-read an article in your favorite publication, a set of how-to instructions, a passage from the novel you're reading, or even the post you're reading right now to determine if the writer could have deleted five or six words, or replaced two words with one, and still retained the meaning.
Sample #1
Before
If the location of the land is in a state other than the state in which the tribe’s reservation is located, the tribe’s justification of anticipated benefits from the acquisition will be subject to greater scrutiny.
After
If the land is in a different state than the tribe's reservation, we will scrutinize the tribe's justification of anticipated benefits more thoroughly.
Sample #2
Before
When the process of freeing a vehicle that has been stuck results in ruts or holes, the operator will fill the rut or hole created by such activity before removing the vehicle from the immediate area.
After
If you make a hole while freeing a stuck vehicle, you must fill the hole before you drive away.
Sample #3
Before
Under 25 CFR §1.4(b), the Secretary of the Interior may in specific cases or in specific geographic areas, adopt or make applicable to off-reservation Indian lands all or any part of such laws, ordinances, codes, resolutions, rules or other regulations of the State and political subdivisions in which the land is located as the Secretary shall determine to be in the best interest of the Indian owner or owners in achieving the highest and best use of such property.
After
Section 1.4(b) of 25 CFR allows us to make State or local laws or regulations apply to your off-reservation lands. We will do this only if we find that it will help you to achieve the highest and best use of your lands.
Sample #4
Before
Sections 4.40 through 4.71 do not apply to Indian probate proceedings, heirship determinations under the White Earth Reservation Land Settlement Act of 1985, and other proceedings under subpart D of this part, except that §§ 4.40 through 4.71 do apply to cases referred to an administrative law judge pursuant to § 4.337(a).
After
Unless a case is referred to an administrative law judge under § 4.337(a), §§ 4.40 through 4.71 do not apply to:
1. Indian probate proceedings;
2. Heirship determinations under the White Earth Reservation Land Settlement Act of 1985; and
3. Other proceedings under subpart D of this part.
Sample #5
Before
If a deponent fails to answer a question propounded, or a party upon whom a request is made under § 4.70, or a party on whom interrogatories are served fails to adequately respond or objects to the request, or any part thereof, or fails to permit inspection as requested, the discovering party may move the administrative law judge for an order compelling a response or inspection in accordance with the request.
After
You may move the administrative law judge for an order compelling a response or inspection if:
1. A deponent fails to answer a question;
2. A party upon whom you made a request under § 4.70, or a party on whom you served interrogatories either does not adequately respond or objects to the request; or
3. A party on whom you made a request under § 4.70, or a party on whom interrogatories are served does not permit inspection as requested.
-------
Jennifer's Note:
I can't take credit for these great examples. I present them courtesy of PlainLanguage.gov - Improving Communication from the Federal Government to the Public. This site offers great resources for writers and editors tasked with communicating and translating "government talk."
Read the before and after sentences below and see if you can come up with other ways to simplify them. Take it a little further and re-read an article in your favorite publication, a set of how-to instructions, a passage from the novel you're reading, or even the post you're reading right now to determine if the writer could have deleted five or six words, or replaced two words with one, and still retained the meaning.
Sample #1
Before
If the location of the land is in a state other than the state in which the tribe’s reservation is located, the tribe’s justification of anticipated benefits from the acquisition will be subject to greater scrutiny.
After
If the land is in a different state than the tribe's reservation, we will scrutinize the tribe's justification of anticipated benefits more thoroughly.
Sample #2
Before
When the process of freeing a vehicle that has been stuck results in ruts or holes, the operator will fill the rut or hole created by such activity before removing the vehicle from the immediate area.
After
If you make a hole while freeing a stuck vehicle, you must fill the hole before you drive away.
Sample #3
Before
Under 25 CFR §1.4(b), the Secretary of the Interior may in specific cases or in specific geographic areas, adopt or make applicable to off-reservation Indian lands all or any part of such laws, ordinances, codes, resolutions, rules or other regulations of the State and political subdivisions in which the land is located as the Secretary shall determine to be in the best interest of the Indian owner or owners in achieving the highest and best use of such property.
After
Section 1.4(b) of 25 CFR allows us to make State or local laws or regulations apply to your off-reservation lands. We will do this only if we find that it will help you to achieve the highest and best use of your lands.
Sample #4
Before
Sections 4.40 through 4.71 do not apply to Indian probate proceedings, heirship determinations under the White Earth Reservation Land Settlement Act of 1985, and other proceedings under subpart D of this part, except that §§ 4.40 through 4.71 do apply to cases referred to an administrative law judge pursuant to § 4.337(a).
After
Unless a case is referred to an administrative law judge under § 4.337(a), §§ 4.40 through 4.71 do not apply to:
1. Indian probate proceedings;
2. Heirship determinations under the White Earth Reservation Land Settlement Act of 1985; and
3. Other proceedings under subpart D of this part.
Sample #5
Before
If a deponent fails to answer a question propounded, or a party upon whom a request is made under § 4.70, or a party on whom interrogatories are served fails to adequately respond or objects to the request, or any part thereof, or fails to permit inspection as requested, the discovering party may move the administrative law judge for an order compelling a response or inspection in accordance with the request.
After
You may move the administrative law judge for an order compelling a response or inspection if:
1. A deponent fails to answer a question;
2. A party upon whom you made a request under § 4.70, or a party on whom you served interrogatories either does not adequately respond or objects to the request; or
3. A party on whom you made a request under § 4.70, or a party on whom interrogatories are served does not permit inspection as requested.
-------
Jennifer's Note:
I can't take credit for these great examples. I present them courtesy of PlainLanguage.gov - Improving Communication from the Federal Government to the Public. This site offers great resources for writers and editors tasked with communicating and translating "government talk."
February 7, 2010
The Disagreement: A Story in the Town of Grammarville
Once upon a time in the town of Grammarville, in the tight-knit neigborhood of Sentence, there lived a subject and a verb who never agreed on anything. When the subject was singular, the verb was plural; when the verb was singular, the subject thought it best to be plural. As you can imagine, this caused a great deal of confusion with the other residents of Sentence. The prepositional phrases, adverbs, and dangling participles protested whenever the pair were seen together. For they were breaking a town ordinance.
"Stop this madness! Because of you two, the rest of us do not make sense!" they'd shout.
Feed up, a gang of prepositional phrases gathered other Sentence residents for an impromptu street hall meeting. A brave participle was sent to advise the subject and verb of their required presence. Even though these two had been villainized, they too wanted a resolution to the problem, and eagerly accompanied the participle back to the meeting place. For two days and two nights the attendees debated, and shouted, and cried, and pleaded. But then, at an hour before the beginning of the third day, laughter and singing were the dominating sounds.
To everyone's delight, the residents emerged from the street hall meeting having reached an agreement. They announced that the subject and verb had agreed to agree in what would come to be known as the "Great Subject-Verb Agreement." The town ordinance was amended and changed to a law; the punishment for not adhering to it was the label of being "grammatically incorrect."
Here are nine highlights from the subject-verb tenets comprising the Agreement (color coordinated for your reading pleasure):
1.Singular indefinite pronoun subjects take singular verbs.
Ex: No one wants to eat the last piece of cake.
2. Inverted subjects (when the verb comes before the subject) must agree with the verb.
Ex: There are three cars to tow.
3. A phrase or clause between a subject and verb does not change the number of the subject.
Ex: A box of stale cereal sits on the counter.
4. For compound subjects joined by or/nor, the verb agrees with the subject closer to it.
Ex: Neither the buyer nor the sellers are interested in paying the closing cost.
5. Collective nouns may be singular or plural depending on how they behave in the sentence.
Ex: The Senate has decided not to convene today. (as a collective unit)
Ex: The Senate members have decided not to meet. (as individuals)
6. Compound subjects joined by and are always require a plural verb.
Ex: A writer and his pen make an attractive couple.
7. Plural form subjects with a plural meaning require a plural verb.
Ex: The scissors are a dangerous toy.
8. Titles of single entities require a singular verb.
Ex: The Bridges of Madison County is an interesting read.
9. With a subject and subject complement of a different number, the verb must agree with the subject.
Ex: The topic for today is relationships.
(The nine rules aren't mine, of course, but my little Grammarville story is a Jennifer Singleton special creation.)
"Stop this madness! Because of you two, the rest of us do not make sense!" they'd shout.
Feed up, a gang of prepositional phrases gathered other Sentence residents for an impromptu street hall meeting. A brave participle was sent to advise the subject and verb of their required presence. Even though these two had been villainized, they too wanted a resolution to the problem, and eagerly accompanied the participle back to the meeting place. For two days and two nights the attendees debated, and shouted, and cried, and pleaded. But then, at an hour before the beginning of the third day, laughter and singing were the dominating sounds.
To everyone's delight, the residents emerged from the street hall meeting having reached an agreement. They announced that the subject and verb had agreed to agree in what would come to be known as the "Great Subject-Verb Agreement." The town ordinance was amended and changed to a law; the punishment for not adhering to it was the label of being "grammatically incorrect."
Here are nine highlights from the subject-verb tenets comprising the Agreement (color coordinated for your reading pleasure):
1.Singular indefinite pronoun subjects take singular verbs.
Ex: No one wants to eat the last piece of cake.
2. Inverted subjects (when the verb comes before the subject) must agree with the verb.
Ex: There are three cars to tow.
3. A phrase or clause between a subject and verb does not change the number of the subject.
Ex: A box of stale cereal sits on the counter.
4. For compound subjects joined by or/nor, the verb agrees with the subject closer to it.
Ex: Neither the buyer nor the sellers are interested in paying the closing cost.
5. Collective nouns may be singular or plural depending on how they behave in the sentence.
Ex: The Senate has decided not to convene today. (as a collective unit)
Ex: The Senate members have decided not to meet. (as individuals)
6. Compound subjects joined by and are always require a plural verb.
Ex: A writer and his pen make an attractive couple.
7. Plural form subjects with a plural meaning require a plural verb.
Ex: The scissors are a dangerous toy.
8. Titles of single entities require a singular verb.
Ex: The Bridges of Madison County is an interesting read.
9. With a subject and subject complement of a different number, the verb must agree with the subject.
Ex: The topic for today is relationships.
(The nine rules aren't mine, of course, but my little Grammarville story is a Jennifer Singleton special creation.)
January 23, 2010
The Abandoned Clown Train
When I first saw this picture of what the web has dubbed the "abandoned clown train," I was quite disturbed. Growing up, I was what you would call a scaredy-cat. Being alone in the dark scared me; large stuffed animals that were as tall as me scared me (especially a large stuffed animal placed ominously in a dark corner); abandoned buildings with broken out windows scared me (especially an abandoned building at nighttime); thoughts of discolored and dented vehicles being pulled from lakes and ponds (particularly ones that may have still contained people)--it goes on and on.
Seeing this rusted happy clown face, a shadow of its former glory, brought all of that back. Its current state in the middle of this overgrown field or pasture is definitely the kind of stuff that dominates my nightmares. I can see it now--as I await dreams of happiness and joy, my mind spitefully places me in this rusted clown ride on a dark night, which by some force is able to carry on like it once did. I'd be fastened of course, and unable to free myself. *shudders*
Seeing this rusted happy clown face, a shadow of its former glory, brought all of that back. Its current state in the middle of this overgrown field or pasture is definitely the kind of stuff that dominates my nightmares. I can see it now--as I await dreams of happiness and joy, my mind spitefully places me in this rusted clown ride on a dark night, which by some force is able to carry on like it once did. I'd be fastened of course, and unable to free myself. *shudders*
I tried to find out the location of this clown train. I read a few message board comments that say it's a ride that was abandoned in Pripyat, near the Chernobyl explosion; others speculate that it's an abandoned ride in a small town in Ohio. All I know is that if I stumbled onto this ride, day or night, it would take a team of rational-minded individuals to convince that it wasn't possible for this clown's little eyes to light back up, its train cars to realign themselves, and for the whole thing to squeak to a slow start--*cue squeaky, rusted sounds*--with a wicked yet cheerful declaration from the scary clown face confirming my worst fears: "Jennifer...I've been waiting for you....all aboard!" *squeak, squeak, squeak*
January 20, 2010
The Single Ton: What I Learned About Myself
sin·gle·ton (snggl-tn)
n.
1. Games A playing card that is the only one of its suit in a player's hand.
2.
a. An individual separated or distinguished from two or more of its group.
b. An offspring born alone.
[From the name Singleton (influenced by single).]
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
singleton [ˈsɪŋgəltən]
n
1. (Group Games / Bridge) Bridge an original holding of one card only in a suit
2. a single object, individual, etc., separated or distinguished from a pair or group
3. (Mathematics) Maths a set containing only one member
4. a person who is neither married nor in a relationship
[from single, on the model of simpleton]
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged 6th Edition 2003. © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003
n.
1. Games A playing card that is the only one of its suit in a player's hand.
2.
a. An individual separated or distinguished from two or more of its group.
b. An offspring born alone.
[From the name Singleton (influenced by single).]
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
singleton [ˈsɪŋgəltən]
n
1. (Group Games / Bridge) Bridge an original holding of one card only in a suit
2. a single object, individual, etc., separated or distinguished from a pair or group
3. (Mathematics) Maths a set containing only one member
4. a person who is neither married nor in a relationship
[from single, on the model of simpleton]
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged 6th Edition 2003. © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003
January 19, 2010
There's Something About Jennifer
Today marked the first time in about four months since I've used the gym at my job. I work in a building with a very complex layout, making finding the gym no easy feat for a newbie. My first time wandering through it, in my confusion at the lack of signs, I ventured into the men's dressing room by mistake. After encountering a naked man, another man shouted "This is the men's room. Leave!" I backed out apologetically, but based on his reaction, you'd think I was a lunatic. So that's why I never went back down there. Until today.
Nothing eventful took place. This post isn't even about the gym, I'm just rambling.
There's something about Jennifer. I would love to see an analysis of whatever energy I'm putting out into the universe. I attract the most "interesting" people to put it nicely. I always have. I have some funny and not so funny stories, but I'll just write about what happened to me after I left the gym this evening. Wow, so the gym does tie into this some kind of way. So I did my thing on the treadmill and my legs were a little tired afterward. I decided to catch the bus home and walked about two blocks to the bus stop.
About six or so minutes into my wait, a man who appeared to be in his 40's came to stand beside me. I noticed that he had an arm full of folders with papers protruding from them and had a satchel of some sort on his shoulder.
"How long have you been waiting?" he asked.
"Oh, about five minutes." He laughed.
[Now before I continue, I'll need you to channel one of the characters that Tracy Morgan played on SNL. A character named "Brian Fellows," a nature show host whose sexual orientation was questionable and who asked the most ignorant questions with an attitude, almost angrily, and with a stereotypical "diva" delivery. Click here to view a Hulu clip.]
"So did you go to any of the free concerts they had yesterday. Diana Ross, Aretha Franklin?" he continued.
"No, I didn't."
"Well why not! It's free!"
"I usually hear about things after they've happened, unfortunately."
As if I'd asked him to do so, the man proceeded to open one of the folders under his arm and pull out a packet of photocopied images of Diana Ross. He got closer for a little show and tell of his special collection.
"Do you see this jacket she's wearing, just look at that. Oh and those boots. Can you wear boots like that?"
"Uh, no, I don't think so."
"She looks so good to be 63. If you put your finger over her face like this, you'd think she was twenty something. Don't she look twenty something?"
"Yeh she does. Looks better than me. She looks real good."
The bus approached. "You catching this bus? Good, when we sit down I can show you the rest."
The female bus driver opened the door to let passengers off. While we waited, the man surveyed the driver, turned to me, and asked "Now she is in bad taste. Don't you think she's in bad taste?"
"Uh, I'm neutral. I don't have anything to say." The only thing I could imagine he didn't approve of were the woman's two-toned braids. But I was wearing braids as well. So I was quite confused.
"Well you either think she's in bad taste or you don't!"
So we get on the bus. He sits across from me and finishes the show and tell.
"You want this magazine?" he asked while offering me the lastest issue of Jet.
"No thank you."
"Well why not? I have two!"
Apparently, he was still appalled at the driver who was in bad taste. She must have triggered his memory of other experiences with such women.
"I walked up to this lady and I said 'Can I ask you a question?' She said yes, and I said 'How long have you been friends with bad taste?' She said 'Excuse me?' and I said 'Why do you have your m's confused? If you had a (m)irror you wouldn't look a (m)ess?"
"Wow," I replied, for lack of anything else. The man was attracting some attention from the other passengers, and as a result, so was I.
"She said 'For your information, I have 15 mirrors in my house.' So I said 'Well that leads to my next question. Why aren't you using any of them?'"
"Wow."
"Yes I did. And then there was this other lady with this real messed up weave. I said 'Excuse me, can I ask you a question? Why do you have your l's confused. She said 'What are you talking about?' I said 'It's not the (l)ength, it's how it (l)ooks.'"
We arrived at my stop and the man and I exchanged goodbyes as if we'd had run of the mill conversation. Ladies and gentleman, this is but one of the tales of my life here in the District. And so I sigh as I sip on the coffee that's pictured above. My adoration of my name wouldn't allow me to leave it on the shelf of the Smithsonian's gift store.
January 3, 2010
NYC for the Thrifty DC Tourist
Last year, I had the pleasure of taking an evening Technical Writing course taught by Thom Haller at the Graduate School (formerly Graduate School USDA). He found my writing style personable and encouraged me to post my work online. He was particular amused by my final project, a tourism guide for DC residents who were on a budget but interested in spending a day or two in New York City. I came up with the idea of creating a NYC guide after experiencing frustration at my lack of motivation to even attempt my original idea—a guide for enjoying DC on a budget. To bring in the new year in style, I decided to dedicate my first post of 2010 to two things I'm good at: self-deprecating humor and escaping to Manhattan.
New York City for the Thrifty Tourist
(A Guide For The DC Metro Area Resident Who Wants To Get Out Of Town For A Little While—But Not Hurt The Piggy Bank)
(copyright 2009. Jennifer Singleton)
Foreword I feel excitement and a renewed sense of purpose when I visit New York City. I want to share with DC-based readers a few tips I’ve learned during my adventures as a thrifty tourist in three of New York City’s boroughs. This isn’t a complete "how to enjoy all NYC has to offer on a small budget" guide, as my funds are always in short supply and my adventures usually confined to the basics. But the things I have seen, I enjoyed them immensely, and the people I’ve met—they were oh so "New York."
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Part One: So You Want To Visit NYC—But Don’t Have A Lot of Money
I. How Do You Do It?
II. The Most Important Step—Getting There
Part Two: You’ve Arrived In NYC. What Do You Do First?
I. Get To Where You’re Going
II. A Good Night’s Rest and Extra Money In Your Pocket
Part Three: Where Do You Eat and What Do You See?
I. Food Options
II. Entertainment
III. Networking Opportunities
Appendix: Helpful Online Resources
Part One: So You Want To Visit NYC—But Don’t Have a Lot of Money
Neither do I, but I make it work. And so can you.
Thanks to television shows and movies that portray Manhattan as a playground for the rich, many would-be tourists are apprehensive that the price tag for transportation to and from the city, lodging, and food is much too high. I felt the same way, until I figured out how to
Travel to NYC;
Spend a weekend in Manhattan, with a decent hostel room to lay my head and great ethnic food from neighborhood bodegas;
Entertain myself (which includes the traveling comedy show known as "public transportation"); and
Travel back to DC—all for less than $200.
I. How Do You Do It?
To visit NYC and not spend a lot of money requires restraint and flexibility. Too make this work you need to
Figure out how much you plan to spend, and try to stick to it—there’s nothing worse than overspending before your trip is over.
Make a list of places you want to see, and then divide that further into "must see" and "maybe next time"—planning is very important to the budget conscious traveler.
Branch out—NYC is just Manhattan. There are interesting places to see in Brooklyn, Queens, and the Bronx too.
II. The Most Important Step—Getting There
When I made the decision to visit the "Big Apple" two years ago, the only transportation options I thought were available for me were to either
Take the Greyhound bus;
Climb an Amtrak train;
Take out a small payday loan to afford a plane ticket; or
Fill up my gas tank and face my fear of driving to a place whose streets were notorious for eating out of town drivers alive.
DC’s Chinatown Buses
I figured Greyhound was my best bet until, almost by chance, a main handed me a flyer while walking through Chinatown on my way back home. It was a flyer for New Century Travels. I’d seen the large buses parked along H and I streets downtown, but never inquired as to what they were for. I went home and looked them up, and soon realized that my long-time desire to visit the Big Apple could be realized much quicker than I had thought.
Here are the websites for three popular bus carries based in Chinatown, DC:
New Century Travels (http://www.2000coach.com/)
Apex Bus (www.apexbus.com/)
MVP (www.mvpbus.com/)
Advantages of riding the Chinatown buses:
It’s convenient—there are frequent departure and arrival times.
The drivers are fast—take the 3:30 a.m. bus and you’ll get to NYC around 6:45 a.m.
It’s cheap—$35 round-trip from Chinatown to Chinatown, not bad at all.
Disadvantages of riding the Chinatown buses:
It gets crowded—it’s "first come, first board" on these buses. To guarantee a seat, try to arrive before the bus. They usually come around 20 minutes prior to departure.
You get what you pay for—hey, it’s cheap travel, don’t expect amenities like leg room or temperature control, or an attendant to walk the aisle and remind passengers to be courteous.
Megabus
There is another discount bus carrier, Megabus (http://www.megabus.com/), that offers an affordable trip to NYC from downtown DC. I’ve never used Megabus, but here’s how it differs from New Century, MVP and APEX :
There is no discount when booking a round-trip ticket—Megabus is $20 each way. The other carriers offer a $5 discount, making the total cost $35.
You have to select a return date and time—Not a bad thing for a lot of people, but in case your plans change while you’re in New York, it’s nice to know that you don’t have hassle in store if you missed the appointed time.
My Experience
I learned from experience that the 3 a.m. buses were quieter and didn’t have as many passengers. Quiet and room to stretch are not likely at any other time. Returning from DC, these inconveniences are unavoidable. I close my eyes and think of how much easier it is to be sitting there than in my car.
Part Two: You’ve Arrived In NYC. What Do You Do First?
I. Get To Where You’re Going
When you arrive, unless your budget allows for a cabbie to chauffeur you around as you sightsee, you’ll need to head to the nearest subway station and buy a fare card ("metrocard").
They come in one-day, seven-day, 14-day, and 30-day intervals. An unlimited card doesn’t start counting down the days until you use it the first time, but it can also expire if you buy one and let it sit unused for too long.
The buses in DC’s Chinatown have several drop-off points in Manhattan. New Century Travel and APEX drops you off in Chinatown at 88th and Broadway. MVP drops you off at Penn Station, right near Madison Square Garden. The only problem is that it’s easy to get turned around as you try to figure which subway number/color combination will get you where you need to be.
Traveling around the city on a budget requires you to buy a Metrocard—your "all access" pass to the city. Fortunately, you can use it on the subway and bus.
The New York subway system is an interesting experience. If you have an activity-filled day planned, then a subway map will be your best friend on your journey. Yes, it’s big, and, yes, it shouts "I’m a tourist!", but having it handy is more helpful than relying on the kindness of your fellow pedestrians to point you in the right direction.
II. A Good Night’s Rest and Extra Money In Your Pocket
Hostels
If you’re planning an overnight stay, before you look into expensive hotels, you may want to consider the convenience of a hostel stay.
When a hostel was explained to me years ago, I was under the impression that hostel rooms were shared with two or more people. And there are many hostels like this. However, hostels do have private rooms.
There are numerous sites for booking NYC hostels and reading traveler reviews. These sites should help in your search:
NYC Hostels (http://www.nychostels.com/)
Hostels.com (www.hostels.com/us.ny.ny.html)
Advantages of staying at a hostel:
It’s affordable—of course, they get sold out and increase prices like hotels, but during off-peak times, the hostels I’ve stayed in are cheap.
Nearby transportation—most of the ones in Manhattan are located very close to the subway.
Disadvantages of staying at a hostel:
Shared bathroom—though if you’ve ever lived in a dormitory, grabbing a pair of slippers to take a shower isn’t odd at all.
Private rooms might not be available—meaning that you may have to sleep in a bunk bed below or on top of a stranger.
My Experience
I have stayed at the Hotel Riverside Studios hostel on three occasions. I’ve never paid more than $90 per night. When I first saw the reviews online, I was apprehensive, but booked anyway, and I’m glad I did. The reception desk is nice and you get a personal escort. Plus, they have private rooms!
Hotel Discounts
NYC Hotel Discounts (www.nychoteldiscounts.com/)
Go NYC (http://gonyc.about.com/od/hoteldeals/New_York_City_Hotel_Discounts.htm)
Part Three: Where Do You Eat and What Do You See?
I. Food Options
I’m hungry, what can I eat on my budget?
Times Square has many fast food-chain options and a seemingly never ending supply of pizza by the slice places. These establishments are found in abundance in DC so why not take advantage of the new location. There are certain restaurants and foods that seem to be so "New York" that they simply cannot be passed up. And surprisingly, there are plenty of New York food establishments located throughout the city that don’t come with the New York price tag.
My suggestion to find great, cheap eats is to get out of downtown Manhattan. Venture into Harlem or Brooklyn’s Coney Island and Bedford Avenues. Be adventurous.
This is a great site to find the various vegetarian, Italian, Caribbean and other ethnic restaurants in NYC’s diverse outer boroughs: http://nymag.com/restaurants/.
My Experience
I had never heard of falafel until I went to New York. While walking down Broadway St, on my way back to Hotel Riverside, I stopped into a little shop, saw the dish on the menu. I received seven large falafel balls, a large salad, pita bread and dipping sauce for only $7.50. Down the street from Apollo Theatre at the Utopia Juice Bar, they serve generous portions of tasty vegetarian dishes for under $10. And I feel in love with a small diner called George’s in Brooklyn on Coney Island Ave, where they serve breakfast 24-hours a day. I left there stuffed, also at under $10. So there are definitely budget-friendly food options.
II. Entertainment
What’s there to do?
Pick up the free Village Voice newspaper that’s filled with event listings ranging from Broadway shows to hip-hop concerts. The newspaper is in bookstores, street newspaper dispensers, and in convenience stores. Check it out online at http://www.villagevoice.com/.
Your New York experience varies on the amount of money you have to spend and how much time you plan on spending there. I’ve only spent weekends, so my trips have consisted of walking until my legs grew tired, riding the city bus with no particular destination, window shopping, visiting landmarks, and perusing the exhibits at various museums.
You can spend hours in the museums, and there are usually interesting speakers and exhibitions to view. In addition to the Village Voice, you can check out museums offerings on this site www.ny.com/museums/all.museums.html that offers a comprehensive listing of museums in Manhattan and outer boroughs.
Additional resources to help you make the most of your NYC experience are listed in the Appendix: Helpful Online Resources section.
III. Networking Opportunities
Hanging solo can be fun, but for those who may want to supplement trips to the city with an activity partner, these suggestions are for you:
Craigslist—for the more spontaneous, adventurous spirit. There are a lot of single people that post on the site for others to join them on trips around the city, lunch at a trendy new restaurant, or to a comedy show in Times Square if they happen to have an extra ticket. http://www.craigslist.com/
Meetup—this site is for those who plan to make visiting New York at least a monthly occurrence. Meetup.com is an online community where people join hobby and interest-specific groups and "meet up" at different venues to network and have fun. It’s free to join Meetup and the fee to participate in your group’s activity is about $5. http://www.meetup.com/
My Experience
I posted an ad in the NYC Strictly Platonic section on Craigslist last year to say that I’d be in town for the weekend and wanted to go a play. I had several responses and ended up going to see an off Broadway show with one, and the top of the Empire State Building with another.
I joined a NYC card game group on Meetup and we meet once a month for bowling and Spades. So there, not everyone online is creepy and weird.
But, of course, only do what makes you comfortable.
Appendix: Helpful Online Resources
For Getting In and Out of DC…
New Century Travels
http://www.2000coach.com/
Apex Bus
http://www.apexbus.com/
MVP Bus
http://www.mvpbus.com/
Megabus
http://www.megabus.com/
For Falling in Love With NYC…
Subway and Bus Information (hey, it beats walking 30 blocks)
NYC Sightseeing (so much to see!)
http://www.mustseenewyork.com/
NYC Parks and Recreation (Central Park sure is big)
Popular NYC Destinations (just a few, there are far too many)
Statue of Liberty http://www.libertytickets.us/
Empire State Building http://www.esbnyc.com/
Radio City Music Hall www.radiocity.com/
Madison Square Garden
NYC Restaurants (falafels, yum!)
Broadway Shows (long lines are your friend)
NYC Museums (don’t touch the exhibits, please)
December 17, 2009
A Familiar, But Older Face
When I tell people I work as a writer, I usually receive a "oh, you're a journalist?" I then have to surprise them by revealing that I never went to journalism school, never studied communications, and never had to read War and Peace (that's right, I wasn't an English major either). Though I've flirted with the idea of becoming a print journalist, I haven't done anything yet to bring anything to fruition.
While at a conference this past week, during a discussion of the responsibilities of a particular job, I heard one of the attendees start a comment with, "Twenty years from now when we're all gone—"
She was referring to herself and colleagues who would be retired by then. Naturally, my brain took that phrase, conferred with my imagination, and together they came up with an image of me encountering a me who was twenty years older... 51 years old.
I pictured the surprise on both faces as their eyes registered the future and the past. As part of being a self-proclaimed weirdo, I'll admit to sometimes wishing for the three ghosts from A Christmas Carol to visit me, particularly the Ghost of Christmas Future. I want to know something, anything about what's to come.
So as I took my conference notes, I imagined what would happen at such a meeting. What insight I'd gain about my future life. I combined what I've learned about interviewing a source, with all I know of creative expression to conduct an "interview" with 51-year-old Jennifer. While my representative carefully studied the presenters' slides, who would have thought that I had secretly escaped further into my imagination for a little playtime.
[after excited yelps and hugs and kisses between the two]
31: Thank you for speaking with me today, Jennifer.
51: Don't I always find time to talk to myself?
31: You haven't lost your sense of humor I see.
51: Life tried to take it from me, but I held on.
31: You look great.
51: Why thank you. If you stop eating sweets right now, and manage to keep it that way, you can pull this off too.
31: Um, how many books have you written?
51: Twelve.
31: Big publishing house or self-published?
51: Both actually. I publish my and my mother's books, as well as a few other authors. Under my own company ____ Publishing (editor's note: company name cannot be revealed), a big publishing house.
31: Did you finish the story about Ronald and Lauren?
51: I'm glad you asked about that. I did. Won a few awards for it, and a filmmaker buddy made it into a movie. Can't tell you who plays Ronald though. Can't spoil the surprise.
31: Oh my goodness, this is unbelievable. I actually accomplish something.
51: And so much more.
31: This is amazing to hear.
31: As you may recall, I'm worried about turning 40, getting older scares me. What's it like to be 51?
51: Wow, did I really sound this sickening back then? No offense, youngin', but complaining about 40? Must be nice. But to answer your question, it feels just like 31. Except I'm 51. My mind hasn't changed but my body is playing by its own rules. Menopause finally came, to answer your other question you asked when you were 12.
31: Do you have children?
51: Eleven. You do become a foster parent, Jennifer. Eleven special men and women refer you as 'Ma.' And eight little boys and girls call you 'Big Ma.'
31: Oh my goodness, really?
31: Are you still different? You know what I mean don't you?
51: Yes. And yes, I'm still different. But check this out, I fit in a little bit more now. Mean people went out of style some years ago. 'Please' and 'thank you' are normal things to hear from everyone these days. Chivalry even came back. All the good decent women who want to be married are, I tell you the world is pretty nice.
31: Really? Am I to believe what I am hearing?
51: And get this. A study found that C average students are better people and have longer life spans than overachievers. Scholarship committees all over the world now treat people of average intelligence and academic ability with respect and give them a chance too.
31: I'm stunned, I'm just stunned. You mean, in your time, people like us are eligible for free rides too?
51: Yes, Virginia, there is indeed a Santa Claus.
51: Anything else you want to know, I really must get back to my life and you must return to yours. Being that this whole thing totally goes against the rules of the universe, time travel, and parallel dimensions.
31: Is there anything I should avoid? You know, any people to stay away from?
51: Do you like who I am Jennifer?
31: Of course. We're amazing.
51: Well if I told you what to avoid then you'd never learn what you need to get here. Just keep trusting your instinct. And regardless of how unfair things appear, don't let it change you. Now I must take my leave of you, Sweety. Take care of yourself okay?
31: Wait, one more thing. Do you ever meet that person who finally sees you. Really sees who and what you are?
51: Yes. We finally do.
While at a conference this past week, during a discussion of the responsibilities of a particular job, I heard one of the attendees start a comment with, "Twenty years from now when we're all gone—"
She was referring to herself and colleagues who would be retired by then. Naturally, my brain took that phrase, conferred with my imagination, and together they came up with an image of me encountering a me who was twenty years older... 51 years old.
I pictured the surprise on both faces as their eyes registered the future and the past. As part of being a self-proclaimed weirdo, I'll admit to sometimes wishing for the three ghosts from A Christmas Carol to visit me, particularly the Ghost of Christmas Future. I want to know something, anything about what's to come.
So as I took my conference notes, I imagined what would happen at such a meeting. What insight I'd gain about my future life. I combined what I've learned about interviewing a source, with all I know of creative expression to conduct an "interview" with 51-year-old Jennifer. While my representative carefully studied the presenters' slides, who would have thought that I had secretly escaped further into my imagination for a little playtime.
[after excited yelps and hugs and kisses between the two]
31: Thank you for speaking with me today, Jennifer.
51: Don't I always find time to talk to myself?
31: You haven't lost your sense of humor I see.
51: Life tried to take it from me, but I held on.
31: You look great.
51: Why thank you. If you stop eating sweets right now, and manage to keep it that way, you can pull this off too.
31: Um, how many books have you written?
51: Twelve.
31: Big publishing house or self-published?
51: Both actually. I publish my and my mother's books, as well as a few other authors. Under my own company ____ Publishing (editor's note: company name cannot be revealed), a big publishing house.
31: Did you finish the story about Ronald and Lauren?
51: I'm glad you asked about that. I did. Won a few awards for it, and a filmmaker buddy made it into a movie. Can't tell you who plays Ronald though. Can't spoil the surprise.
31: Oh my goodness, this is unbelievable. I actually accomplish something.
51: And so much more.
31: This is amazing to hear.
31: As you may recall, I'm worried about turning 40, getting older scares me. What's it like to be 51?
51: Wow, did I really sound this sickening back then? No offense, youngin', but complaining about 40? Must be nice. But to answer your question, it feels just like 31. Except I'm 51. My mind hasn't changed but my body is playing by its own rules. Menopause finally came, to answer your other question you asked when you were 12.
31: Do you have children?
51: Eleven. You do become a foster parent, Jennifer. Eleven special men and women refer you as 'Ma.' And eight little boys and girls call you 'Big Ma.'
31: Oh my goodness, really?
31: Are you still different? You know what I mean don't you?
51: Yes. And yes, I'm still different. But check this out, I fit in a little bit more now. Mean people went out of style some years ago. 'Please' and 'thank you' are normal things to hear from everyone these days. Chivalry even came back. All the good decent women who want to be married are, I tell you the world is pretty nice.
31: Really? Am I to believe what I am hearing?
51: And get this. A study found that C average students are better people and have longer life spans than overachievers. Scholarship committees all over the world now treat people of average intelligence and academic ability with respect and give them a chance too.
31: I'm stunned, I'm just stunned. You mean, in your time, people like us are eligible for free rides too?
51: Yes, Virginia, there is indeed a Santa Claus.
51: Anything else you want to know, I really must get back to my life and you must return to yours. Being that this whole thing totally goes against the rules of the universe, time travel, and parallel dimensions.
31: Is there anything I should avoid? You know, any people to stay away from?
51: Do you like who I am Jennifer?
31: Of course. We're amazing.
51: Well if I told you what to avoid then you'd never learn what you need to get here. Just keep trusting your instinct. And regardless of how unfair things appear, don't let it change you. Now I must take my leave of you, Sweety. Take care of yourself okay?
31: Wait, one more thing. Do you ever meet that person who finally sees you. Really sees who and what you are?
51: Yes. We finally do.
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