What Do You Do?

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting since my last post. About the usual stuff I suppose: Am I living each day to the fullest? Have I made the right choices up to this point? Is my lack of a love life due to something horrible I did in a past life? If I lost 20-30lbs would I then receive the highly coveted Certificate of Desirability, deeming me worthy and eligible to at least enter the dating pool? Is the DC area where I should be? Or should I have tried a little harder to move to NYC where so many others like me reside? Why are all the men who seem perfect for me either a part of the “gold band” club or just not interested? Should I have more to show for myself financially?

Not a day goes by where I don’t ponder most (sometimes all) of these questions. Some have many possible answers, others none. I’m just at that point in my life where I assess myself more thoroughly, and am more aware of how my actions today can make or break the rest of my life. I guess I have too much time on my hands. A wise man or woman might say that if a person is out actually living life, then he or she won’t have time to sit around thinking and worrying about it. Makes sense, doesn’t it? And it’s a good motto to live by too, isn’t it?

Still, I counter with this—what do you do when “living life” just doesn’t feel the way it used to? When you’re missing something and you’re not sure what? When something’s happening and you can’t put a finger on it? When you no longer enjoy doing things by yourself and long for a partner, but feel invisible to those you wish would volunteer?

What do you do?

You take people’s advice. You speak and nod in agreement when people say to put it in the hands of a higher power. You try to change what you think you may be doing wrong. You ponder why, what, how, when, and where?

And during it all, you hope to find an answer. A solution to put your anxious mind at ease. A solution that rejuvenates your spirit. Some type of something to motivate you to do all the things your heart yearns for you to do.

JS