September 20, 2009

Sunday's Writing Tip: Less Can Be Best

We all do it, though few people can say for sure where they learned it. I'm talking about using three, four, and even five words to say something that can be said with only one or two. This way of speaking and writing sounds more "proper" and correct to a lot of us; so ingrained that simplifying feels like "dumbing down" or not showing how smart and literate we are. However, in writing (especially technical), you should always consider your audience's needs and the importance of providing content that is clear, concise, and to the point.

To illustrate, I've gathered some examples of wordiness ("circumlocutions") and redundancies, and provided suggested alternatives. I still have to catch myself sometimes. I bet I even did it in this post. Let me know what you spot, this could be fun.

Too wordy (alternative)

At this particular point in time (now)
Made mention of the fact (mentioned)
In spite of the fact that (although)
Call your attention to (remind you)
In this day and age (today)
With regards to (regarding)
In order to (to)
For the simple fact (because)
Take into consideration (consider)


Redundant (alternative)

Eliminate altogether (eliminate)
Past history (past)
Plan in advance (plan)
Warn in advance (warn)
Important essentials (important or essential)
Follow after (follow)

In my last post I asked readers to find the definition of this word and come up with one good reason why it should be used in a sentence when other choices were available.

I'm not saying "behest" is wrong (if Merriam's likes it, so should I), it's just that I think it looks better in a more academic context, or better yet, used sparingly with other words of the same class: It is at the behest of His Majesty that today's assemblage not meander through the forbidden forest.

But not here: At the behest of the mayor, all residents wore white to the "Jubilee All" festival.

I would probably edit this to read: The residents complied with the mayor's order to wear white to the "Jubilee All" festival.

Ms. Melissa, a commenter, responded "I behest you to continue writing fun and creative stories that you will post on your blog."
My answer: Yes ma'am. I'm in meetings with my imagination now to see what we can do about that.

2 comments:

  1. Are you telling me that I could have saved 30 minutes of talking time this morning by simply saying "I am busy" instead of causing yawns by saying,
    "whereas I ponder the various duties, tedious and mundane, awaiting my diligence until the forthcoming hour of five, heretofore I march, unable to tarry or stop for interchange among my peers, for the weight of job performance calls me on, and neither I...."

    Your postings are always helpful, thanks for caring about the need for simplicity of words

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  2. Oh my goodness, you wonderful being! Thank you so much for these words and for the picture they created. I will memorize your quote and recall it often when I need to smile.

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